Once Upon A Time
by Staraz
Summary: Little Red Riding Hood just wanted to have a peaceful day with her Gran, but as other fairy tale characters started popping in left and right into her world like daisies, she couldn't help but get involved. A parody based on fairy tales. Written for fun. Twoshot / Threeshot. Rated T for language.


**Sorry if I made mistakes! I didn't have time to edit. And yes I totally borrowed the fairytale concept to make it some sort of parody. **

**Please ignore the shitty picture. I tried editing her hair and it turned out sucky. T.T**

**Please enjoy and tell me what you think!**

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Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl living in a lush green forest. She had these tiny princess feet and the tiniest hands, with the softest hair matching the colour of cherry blossoms, that ran all the way to her hips. Her lips were a cherry red and her eyes were expressive emerald orbs. Her voice was beautiful when she sang.

"We… are never ever ever… Getting back together! _WEEEEE- HEEEE_ are NEVER EVER EVER! GETTING _BAAACK TOGE-THURRR_-"

On second thought, I'll take back my last sentence. She sings like a banshee.

_*clears throat*_ Now, where was I? Oh yes. Her beauty was so astounding that many men had fallen for her and asked for her hand in marriage. Frustrated by these requests, she decided to wear a long, red hooded cloak whenever she ventured out of her home so that none would ever recognise her. Thus, she was known by her family and friends as Little Red Riding Hood.

She preferred her original name, Sakura.

"Mum! Dad! I'm going to see Granny Tsunade!" She hollered from the main door, tugging at the hood of her cloak to hide her hair. Without waiting for a response, she was out of the door in a flash, beaming at the freshly baked chocolate chip muffins perched nicely in her basket hanging by the crook of her elbow. She knew Granny Tsunade would love them, being baked by her favorite one and only granddaughter.

She bounded happily through the forest with a sweet dimpled smile on her face as she hummed. Today, _nothing_ could go wrong for her. The morning birds chirped a sweet melody in the air, the trees were buzzing with animal life and she smelt of her favourite strawberry shampoo.

Little did she know that someone, or some_thing, _had been watching her hungrily like she was the one kind of junk food he had never had.

In the shadows, a mysterious wolf crouching on two humanlike legs, narrowed his eyes in anticipation as he watched his next meal. His eyes were a shocking red, flashing occasionally to his black ones in human form as he continued stalking her. He had been watching her for a long while now, waiting for the chance to pounce on her. Over the past 2 weeks, he had to forcibly restrain his inner beast from quickly devouring her. The urge was that strong. Her scent was positively maddening, driving him wild with untamed hunger.

Damn her for using that strawberry shampoo.

Oblivious to the wolf's presence, Sakura bounded on with a spring in every step. This continued for a few minutes until she abruptly stopped humming. She froze, as if sensing something and paused to look around.

The wolf's eyes widened subtly. Did she finally sense him after all this while?

His answer to the question came when a blonde girl suddenly rushed past in front of her in a blur, not stopping to notice her.

"Wait!" Sakura called after her, planning to give chase. The wolf frowned. He had never seen her before in the village.

The blonde girl backtracked swiftly, running backwards until she froze halfway in front of Sakura still in her running stance, and turned her head diagonally to look at her. "What?" she snapped airily, shooting her an annoyed look. "Can't you see I'm trying to escape from being mauled? I've got some furry dudes on my tail here!"

The girl had cerulean blue eyes and her blonde hair was in neatly tied plaits, despite the running. Her French manicured nails and tight blue dress that flared out at her hips.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked bluntly, not bothering to hide her surprise. "I've never seen you around here before."

The blonde girl narrowed her eyes, frowning. She abandoned her running stance and walked closer to her, peering curiously. "Well, _I've _never seen you before either. Where is this?"

"The Nara forest," Sakura supplied, watching her reaction.

The blonde girl opened her mouth and suddenly gave a loud scream. "OH MY GOD! WHERE THE F*** IS THIS NARA FOREST? WHERE THE F*** AM I? I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE FURRY FOREST!"

Sakura had wisely backed away at her sudden change in demeanour, for the next thing she said was shot at her. "YOU! YOU BROUGHT ME HERE!"

"N-No I didn't!" Sakura stuttered, shocked. Just what was she so upset about? "What happened before this?"

The girl wailed loudly, tugging at her pigtails. "NOTHING! IT WAS SUCH A NORMAL DAY! I was doing my usual stunt with the furry oddballs, they found me sleeping in bed, got mad and chased me and I was running and BAM! I ran into you! And-" She froze midspeech, suddenly struck with some mysterious notion as she studied Sakura' outfit.

"And what?" Sakura prompted impatiently.

The blonde stopped her scrutinizing, pausing to sneer at her. "Who are you?" she asked in a haughty manner, as if she understood something Sakura didn't.

"Why is that importan-"

"Just answer the question."

Sakura huffed. "Fine. I'm known as Red Riding Hood around here. Who the hell are you then?"

The blonde did not pause in her sneering. "Jeez, you have such a large forehead I'd thought there would be some brains in there. Do you NOT know who I am?" she drawled, placing her hands on her hips.

"I'm Ino, otherwise known as Goldilocks."

Sakura's jaw dropped. Goldilocks was _here, in her world? _"What are you doing here? I thought all fairy tale worlds were separate!" Sakura's eyes widened in disbelief.

"I was just about to ask you how I'd end up here, Forehead girl. However, since you clearly know nothing, I shall be on my merry way to find someone smarter who knows how I ended up in this shithole," she retorted before turning her back on her.

_The little… pig! _Sakura seethed angrily, stalking after her. "You are such a bi-"

RIBBIT.

An odd sound echoed through the forest as both Sakura and Ino halted in their tracks.

RIBBIT.

Ino slowly turned back to her, her eyes wide with fear. "Wha… What the hell was that sound?" she whispered. Everything took a turn for the worse when the forest suddenly stilled.

This time, the sound seemed much much louder and closer.

**RIBBITTTT!**

They lost it, screaming and running in the direction Sakura had been walking previously.

"Something's following us!" Ino shrieked, running as fast as her legs could carry her.

"YOU THINK?" Sakura hissed back, turning her head to glare at her as they ran.

And promptly bumped into someone. She looked up, frightened.

He was slightly taller than her and had short russet hair with an interesting heart-shaped tattoo on his forehead. He looked at her impassively, unruffled by the collision.

"Sorry!" she mumbled, glancing at Ino who had stopped to give him an unreadable look.

"And who are you, handsome?" Ino purred sweetly, walking predatorily towards him. Sakura fought the urge to roll her eyes.

He turned to give her a dark look that made her stop mid-track as two more figures emerged from the trees.

Sakura had never been more puzzled in her life. These people clearly were not from the village.

An expression akin to puzzlement was also plastered on their faces as they frowned. The only female of the trio – a blonde lady – spoke.

"Who the hell are you?"

"I should be asking the same thing," Ino shot back, glaring heatedly.

Sakura decided to intervene before they launched into an argument. She cut to the chase. "This is Nara forest of the Red Riding Hood fairy tale. May I ask, why are you here?" she asked the blonde, who turned to give a shocked look at her when she heard the location Sakura mentioned.

It appeared that the two men were also trying to hide their panic. "We're not in Wonderland?" The redhead finally spoke. "How did this happen?" he asked evenly.

Sakura gestured to Ino. "I don't know, but Little Miss Piggy here -Goldilocks – was asking me the same thing when I met her just now and I haven't the slightest idea."

"This must be Alice's fault!" The redhead suddenly had a dangerous air of malevolence around him as his two friends (or surbordinates, as Sakura suspected) backed away quickly.

Sakura did the same as she felt the temperature in the forest seemed to chill considerably, as though it was his doing. Ino, however, did not appear unfazed at all.

"Oh please, Mr High-and-Mighty, just get off your high horse for a while," Ino hissed, planting a manicured finger on his chest. "It's nothing personal. If your 'Alice' was guilty then it wouldn't explain why I ended up here too!"

It seemed that everyone was taken aback by her open display of anger against the mysterious man. They inhaled, waiting for him to explode.

The only response he gave was a twitch of his eye. His dangerous aura promply disappeared. Then he spoke.

"_You're right_."

Both his subordinates had their jaw dropped to the floor. "But Gaara! You never admit I'm right!" his male subordinate with weird-looking face paint complained.

"That's because you're always _not_ right," Gaara deadpanned. Ino beamed, proud of her conquest.

Sakura sighed, pinching the tip of her nose. "So… since you mentioned Alice and Wonderland, are you the guards of the Queen of Hearts or something?" she asked tiredly.

At that question, Gaara stiffened. He was about to respond when a loud noise rang around the forest.

RIBBIT!

Ino screamed, pointing at something behind Sakura. "Forehead, behind you!"

Sakura whipped around, her hand reaching swiftly inside the cloak for her kunai in her holster at her thigh. She turned to look at the source.

Right beneath her feet was a green, green frog.

Did she mention it was green?

It was her favourite colour.

"AW, HEY, LITTLE GUY!" Sakura cooed, picking it up and stroking its slimy skin. The rest of the wanderers stared at the frog in disgust and shot incredulous looks at her. However, she did not notice, continuing to talk to it.

"So you're the one making all those noises huh? You cute little thing, you! I'm going to keep you as a pet in my makeshift pond and we can live together in a-"

"As cute as you are, will you stop cutting me off! I'm lost!" the frog shouted at her suddenly in a strangely male voice.

With a horrified shriek, Sakura dropped the frog and proceeded to stomp on it. Having heard the frog's words, all four other people took a hold of Sakura to prevent her from crushing the poor frog to death.

"Everyone just stop." A rough, husky voice not belonging to either of them rang through the air.

It was then that a wolf appeared, catching their attention. Even Sakura had stopped shrieking and directed her gaze from the frog to the hulking figure with wide eyes.

"I think I know what happened here."

**To be continued. Please tell me if you liked/disliked it. :) Cheers,**

**Star.**


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